I have yearned for the day I could do whatever I want. And when I say whatever I want, I don't mean rebelling against my parents and family. I love my family, and truly my parents have always given me the freedom to do what I wanted and make my own choices. However, I have dreamed of the day I was not on a strict schedule. And here I am.
My basketball career ended on March 8, 2022. This is what my life looked like right after it ended:
To say the least, I was excited about my life after basketball. I felt like I was finally able to fully begin my life and create my own path; my own schedule. I was finally able to make plans for myself. I felt excited, fresh, and alive.
March 11-13: Vermont
My boyfriend's family had a house in Vermont. They planned to go snowboarding the weekend of March 11th, and I was never supposed to be able to make it. My conference tournament was going on during this time, but luckily or unluckily, my team lost the first round. We were expected to win our first game, but life works in weird ways. We lost and that was it, my season was over; my career was over. However, looking at the glass half full, I was able to join my boyfriend and his family on their trip to Vermont and go snowboarding for the first time in over 5 years. Losing on the first round of our tournament was bittersweet. Though I wanted to go as far as possible in our tournament, I was able to enjoy a lovely weekend in Vermont, obtaining a memory that will never be forgotten.
March 19: Tame Impala
I had planned with two of my cousins and my boyfriend to go see Tame Impala play in Philly on March 19th. We all rented an AirBNB together to stay the night. This was something I have never been able to plan for, prior to basketball ending. Tame Impala plays psychedelic pop, rock, and indie. It was one of the most electric, eccentric shows I had ever seen before.
This weekend getaway felt very unusual to me. It was the first time ever that I truly felt I had no worries, which I believe also played into it being one of the best nights of my life. I have always been an overthinker, very type A. In the midst of basketball, whenever I did something fun, I have always had some anxiety hanging over my head; anxiety over working out, staying in shape, getting enough sleep, and staying healthy. The Tame Impala concert was one of the first times I ever experienced true freedom and relief.
March 25: The Dip
The Dip was a band I recently started listening to. I went with my boyfriend, his sister, and her boyfriend. It was at the Ballroom in NYC. Once again, the show was electric. I was on a concert kick. I have always loved music, and now I was finally able to experience shows I have always wanted to go to. The end of the show was my favorite.
The Ballroom venue had two floors. The concert stage was on the second floor, and there was a dark bar on the first. Once the show ended, we walked downstairs to get a drink and some merchandise from the band. My boyfriend got a poster, and as we were walking back to our seats we saw members of the band freely walking around the bar. I immediately grabbed his poster and started walking up to the band members to get autographs. It was pretty surreal having conversations with the band that just played right before my eyes. Everyone was so nice and it felt humanizing. This was another experience in life that felt brand new to me. My cheeks hurt.
March 27: Parcels
Unfortunately, this concert was cancelled. The band, Parcels, got Covid-19. Luckily for me, my friend got me a ticket to see them play in July.
April 6: The Strokes
April 6 was the Strokes, my boyfriend's all-time favorite band. We drove up to the city to see them play. One of my happiest memories from the concert was seeing how happy he was. His name is Chris, and he is one of the happiest people I have ever met.
April 13-20: Islamorada
During Easter, I went to Islamorada with my family in the Keys. My grandma has had a place there for over 3 years, and this was my first time being able to go. I have not been on a vacation, prior to this one, in over four years. It was a beautiful place to visit, however, I went during my finals week of school. It was not the best idea, but my family planned this trip for months and there was no way I was not going. It was a relaxing, yet stressful trip. I had to do a lot of my school work while I was there.
April 24: Whitehall
This was a great night. I found this band, Whitehall, on my discover weekly on Spotify. My favorite instrument is the saxophone, which they have (or at least had) a saxophonist in their band. They played at the Saint in Asbury Park, which I thought was pretty coincidental. It was a bit of an interesting show. A group of about eight of us got there around 8 pm. The Saint is a small music venue, with few windows in a dark space. When we got there, there were only about 20 people in the audience or at the bar. When Whitehall came on, we were front row standing twenty feet away from the stage. Though the oddness of the setting, it was so much fun. I ended up meeting the band members, buying a vinyl, and getting it signed by all of them. Small venues or small crowds, I always have fun.
May 5: Houndmouth
Houndmouth played at Asbury Lanes, a place I have never been to before. As we walked in I saw this tall, elegant-looking bar right in front of my eyes. The band was already playing; the crowd dancing and singing. Houndmouth was another favorite band of mine, it was easy to sing and dance along to all of their songs.
May 28: The Who
The Who played at Bethel Woods Center for the Arts. My boyfriend's grandma has a lake house on Wolf Lake in New York. I went with my boyfriend, his uncle, his dad, his sister, and his sister's girlfriend. The lake is a special place. I have been there one time before to see Dead and Company. It is so blissful there and at nighttime, you can see more stars than ever before. The first time I ever went there was last year in August of 2021. After we saw the concert that year we went back to the lake house and Chris asked to take me out on the little boat to look at the stars. As we sat there looking he asked me to be his girlfriend. The lake house will always be a special place in my heart.
July 1: Dead and Company
Dead and Company was back at Bethel Woods again, and yet again we stayed at Chris's lake house. It was a beautiful time. My cousin Annie came with us and we all had such a fun time. I always love to see Dead and Company. My mom loved the Grateful Dead, thus, naming me Stella after the song Stella Blue.
July 27: Parcels
July 27th may have been my favorite concert of them all. The show was at the Central Park Summer Stage. It was my first time going to that venue and seeing Parcels play. It was the redemption concert since the original one I planned on going to got canceled. It was everything I expected and more. They play such beautiful music and all have such unique, lovely voices. It was a show I will never forget.
SUM UP
I had many firsts in the past 6 months than I have had in a long time. For so long I had a constant haze of anxiety floating over my head knowing I had to perform at a sharp level for so many years. These past six months have been the first time in my life I have not felt that haze. I was able to take a deep breath and fully enjoy these new experiences The past six months I have learned a lot about myself and what I am outside of basketball.
I felt free but I also felt trapped. I learned why I felt trapped and what made me happy. I learned I always felt happy when I had basketball everyday, waking up for practices and accomplishing something. I learned I felt lousy when I wasn't feeling accomplished. I learned that accomplishing productive tasks throughout my day makes me feel happy and satisfied.
I have had some of my most happiest, exciting memories happen during my basketball career. I can also say the same for these past six months. It's a different way of life, and most importantly a different perspective. I am still learning things about myself everyday, but it finally feels like there is nothing holding me back.
Comments